Welcome to Our Magical Life

The title of my blog is meant in some ways to be ironic. But not.

Let me explain.

My son is on the autism spectrum. Three years later I still struggle to say he has autism or he is autistic. This is partially because while I am saying the words to you a large part of me still chokes on them. I'm not sure if it's denial or stubborn optimism. It could be because it truly is a spectrum. And where he is on that spectrum changes from day to day. In our house we say he has Austism days and autism days. Honestly most days are good and for that I am grateful. The tough days can be a glass of cold water thrown in your face. An occasional reminder of the challenges he faces.

So one could say our lives are far from magical.

Yet somehow, it is. Mostly because he is.

Harrison is truly an amazing gift. It's like an alien from Planet Happypants has decided to grace Earth with his presence. He is one of the kindest, funniest people I've met in my life. He can be seemingly oblivious to what's happening around him and then say something so profound and insightful you would think he had ESP.  He loves his family, especially his little sister. He calls his dog his son and his cat his girlfriend. He loves Disney. He loves to draw. He has an amazing memory. It snowed two days shy of a year ago and I'm half expecting him to ask why it isn't snowing in a few days. He gets interested in the funniest things. Most little boys want to learn about lions or dinosaurs. He wants to learn about Malayan Tapirs.

Of course he has his dark moments. Communication is a struggle. He moves around a lot. When we have to have a serious conversation with him, he gets a fear in his eyes. Like a cornered animal. It's hard for him to understand the words. My child gets lost. I try to find him behind those shining blue eyes. School is hard tricky. He thinks hard means bad. We can't say hard. He loves his class and his teachers but it's a lot of work for someone so delicately trying to make sense of the world. He calls a shelf a shelter and at school he says he learns ledisons. He comes home and disappears to his room to make comic books. Disappears into himself. He acts different from the other kids and now that he's older it's more obvious. Harder in some ways and easier in others.

Obviously magic comes with a price.

So from time to time I may talk about our life with Harrison. I may also talk about his spunky, sweet little sister Ellie. Or I may ramble about Disney or teaching Montessori. Either way. Welcome to the Magic.